I heart Facebook

I have come back in contact with some of the greatest people from my past!!! I love reconnecting, and hearing how people's lives have turned out. So far so good :) Today was my husband's 38th birthday...crazy, we've been separated since 2008, and at this point you would think I would resent him, or have no feelings at all....but no matter what, 23 years is a long time o just forget and stop loving someone. No matter what they do to you. Happy Birthday Rel :)

There's a hurricaine a comin'!

At present I don't have cable or the converter boxes that allow for local channels. I find out a few days ago that there is a category 2 hurricane headed to obliterate Columbia SC. This information is provided by my 67 year old mother, in a very mater of fact tone. *SIGH* now I think to myself, this must be what the residents of various parts of New Orleans felt like. I mean, according to mom, we were required to evacuate. I had a total of $10.00 to my name, and 1/4 tank of gas. How would I leave? To where? Later in the week, a cousin advised that we would only receive rain, and some winds. I guess I learned a valuable lesson. I should be receiving child support from my estranged husband, and I need to start a savings, when I can afford to put something away LOL. However my prayers are with anyone that is impacted by this mofo :(

Bittersweet

Moved to South Carolina. Been separated from my spouse for over 2 1/2 years now. Got saved. Love chuch. living with my cousin for now. The end.

Broke

Okay, so I have officially been out of work by choice for like 11 mos...now I'm just bored of not having money and living like I'm use to. God has been good and kept all the bills on and the kids fed, but I feel more productive when I clock in and out. I do miss the kids, but I also love the benefit of buying them the little things they ask for. Right now the universal theme is, "mommy doesn't have any money but let's go to the park or The Strip!" This works but need to have more than that in my life. The one person I always thouht I could count on, just left us hanging. Made me a bitter pill, but he doesn't care. The hardest thing to do is watch someone you love, love somebody else.

Recent sadness

It's been a long time since I blogged. Not that there hasn't been anything interesting iin my life. Hmmmmmm, let's see..... moved back to Vegas. Live in a beautiful apartment community. Had a Mother's Day that was peaceful and receieved a card from my BFF and some beautiful wishes from FB friends. My estranged husband didn't email me at all.That hurt, but I expect that because we have been estranged for over 1 year now. Lately I have been having dreams of abandonement and it's caused alot of depression for me. I am looking forward to my renewed life here in Vegas, but I guess I anticipated that I would have a renewed relationship with people that I had falling outs with. So the moral of the story is that I have to brush myself off and keep it pushing because no one is going to attend my pity parties but me : (

Slacker

OMG guys...I haven't blogged and have had a hellavu lot of incidents worth talking about! First of all, my estranged husband totally dissed our 4 children. He stated that he could only help out with our children, like he does the child he had during our marriage, if I "helped him more financially" like that child's mother. All I have to say to that is.....WHAT THE HELL EVER!

On a lighter note, March 4th my eldest child turned 16! He's awesome! Thanks for all the love and support guys! Pic is of the birthday dude Kejan Joshua Smith~

My first blog...the first day of the New Year!

I did what my mama told me, bring in the new year with black eye peas for good luck. They were yummy too lol! Additionally, I brought in 2010 with Dick Clark...alone, children tucked in bed....all except my tennager who went to his 1st party with cousins. Still no call from him wishing mama happy new year lol!

As I watched couples embrace and kiss when the ball dropped in Times Square.....it dawned on me that I was alone, without the love of my life, my husband and partner of whom I am separated from. I really love him, and am saddened that he seemingly doesn't feel the same.

Ideally, I have to look at the impending year with optimisim and enthusiasm. I have to visualize all that I want and the image that I want others to see....as well as the mage I want for myself. Positive thinking and affirmations....prayer and faith in GOD's work and miracles. I know that my family will be reunited, my finances will be abundant, my children and I healthy, and happiness throughout my days! Happy New Year folks!